Saturday, January 3, 2009

Sex and the univer-City

Everytime we grabbed some food at Guimiao(which is a outer student residence),we were given name cards together with the change.Those name cards were from some footmassage centres.They and the restaurans have reached some sorta agreement.But the thing is they obviously know we are students,they still hand out those name cards which have some porn puns.I didn't think students like us would go and ask for that,until my roommate's boyfriend confessed that he once met a call girl.He was out of his mind to do that and told his girlfriend about that.He clarified that he didn't actually do it but just talked with that call girl.I don't believe that.What is he gay?But I did realise that students could be one of those customers(FYI,Chinese people don't think highly of those places because we associate them with prostitutes and something like that.Although I know there are some rightful ones,I didn't feel right about it when foreign male friends told me they went footmassage or massage.)

(all started with the name card)

When you're in a relationship,life is full of FIRSTs.The first holding hands.The first kiss.The first Movie.first night together.Now for my friends,the first check-in in 7 Days Inn.Lately,my other roommate just got a free night in a larger room in 7 Days Inn because her bonus points added up to about 3000 points.What they do there is self-evident,So suddenly the 7 Days Inn become a lover hotel for those couple who don't own their own apartment.
(VIP card at 7 Days Inn)

Back in high school,every student aimed at being matriculated in university.Everybody,especially the teachers,were sensitive about the friendship between girls and boys.One girl and one boy walking together closely was not allowed,say nothing of holding hands.I once got detention because I was seen talking to the same boy in my class for several times.My teacher advised me in earnest that I should be cautious about friendship with boys.That was ridiculous because I was asking him about Math problem and he already had a girlfriend.But I did feel a little scared to speak to boys.

When in high school everybody got repressed and accumulated much passion for the opposite sex.In high school,it was almost impossible to see couples holding hands on campus.However, once you are a uni student,those constructive advice suddenly become destructive.People who told you not to get involed in any relationship urged you to have a boyfriend or girlfriend.It even seems like a shame if you don't have one.So the young people are like getting untied,looking for anything they regard as cool stuff and trying them one by one.Sex is one of them.Couples hug,kiss and even take each other to their dorm.One of my high school classmates even moved out from her dorm to live with her boyfriend outside the campus.I don't mean to judge them because it's understandablt to have sex with your boyfriend or girlfriend rather than prostitute.But after all school is somewhere to study not for intimating and they should save it to private places.And once those private places become popular,a question arises:do they get a bf or gf just for sex?

I don't want the post to mislead to anything,I just write down what I saw.


Anonymous said...

Wise beyond you years Shuo. I think these days people rush into things to easily. What ever happened to a bit of patience. Doesn't the saying that good things come to those who wait?...

SHUO said...

Definitely.As nowadays "fastfood attitude" is getting more and more popular,waiting could be regarded as a virtue.

Anonymous said...

love is everywhere. my mom was once freaked out to see a 15-year-old couple making out in a grocery. she came back to tell me these young people were pretty cheeky and she felt a great shame for them. i think it's inevitable and unquestionable for uni students to have sex if they love each other. anyway, they are mostly at an age when sex is prevalent. but they have to bear this in mind: safer sex is important for their future health.

Anonymous said...

It's very interesting to read your perspective and the Chinese culture behind "pda"--public display of affection and sex.

In schools in the US we have sex education starting in kindergarten until about high school. It starts with "inappropriate touching," if adults were to inappropriately touch young children and how to tell an adult if that were happening. In about 4th or 5th grade we were explained what sex was how you have it, and big diseases you can acquire from sex such as AIDS.

Parents could sign a form that would not allow their kids to take these classes. About 95% of the kids took these classes though. They were called "Family life education."

I went to a liberal church in the US. It incorporated Buddhism, hinduism, christian-judeo beliefs, etc. In 8th grade at my church we were given a sex education class for "sunday school." That was called "OWL"--"Our Whole Lives." It talked about safe sex, who has sex, how people have sex, and diseases.

In college I then took a comprehensive "Human Sexuality" class which was by far one of the best classes I've ever taken. I learned so much.

Anyway aside from the whole sex education, it's taboo in America but if people do have sex and get pregnant it seems that there's not as much shame as say the Chinese might have if they found themself in an unfavorable situation and pregnant.

It's funny talking about boyfriends and girlfriends in college. In college we call it "hooking up." A lot of people will go to parties get drunk, and have sex one night and never see the person again [one night stands]. They will sleep together in dorm rooms etc. Relationships aren't taken too seriously in American college campuses. It's more loose dating and "hooking up." There are the few that will build a solid relationship, I would say about 40%-50% of students are in a serious relationship.

In regards to relationships in China, do people hook up and drop that person and move on or do they have a sex only relationship?

Also my friend is a teacher in a Primary school in Luohu. The teachers have decided they want him to give a sex education class! He's working on it now.

Thanks for sharing I can understand if this seems difficult to talk about. It's very interesting to me though.