Saturday, September 18, 2010

stale

It's still a personal blog, right?

Currently I have plenty of time at my own disposal since I have no more classes and my internship will only take six weeks in October. But things are as easy as it seems. I'm on the edge of graduation which means I'll become a job hunter soon. It's said that "毕业即失业" (graduation amounts to unemployment) which is true. But it's also true that people around me, despite unsatisfied, all have something to busy with. Yes, as long as you're willing to struggle and sweat, you'll find a way. Mom always tells me that "船到桥头自然直" (cross the bridge when you come to it), but it's a little too Taoist.^^

I'm trying to come into my own over the past few months. I haven't really talked about it but something in my life has changed since mom has a new marriage. Yes,it undoubtedly is a great thing from all aspects. I want her to be happy from the bottom of my heart. But deep down, it sticks out like a sore thumb to me, when a man holds your mom's hand and he's not your father (although it'd be weirder if it were), let alone he even moving in. It's been a long time since my parents split up so I really need time to be re-accustomed to be under the same roof with another guy. Well, he seems a very honest and reserved guy and treats mom very well, so I didn't reveal my feelings but kept everything to myself.

I should harshly reflect on myself too. I was the one who told her not to dwell on the old time and encouraged her to "go back on track in the dating world". But once she found someone and pulled off a new marriage, I become the one who pick on it. Mom worried that her remarriage would have a negative impact on me, so she didn't really consider it when I was younger... Alas, would I be put down as a selfish daughter? Nevertheless, all I have to do now is adjust my attitude. Hope that mom feels all her sacrifice was worth it.

The usual sensible and exuberant Shuo never leaves, but she also plays the baby act from time to time.

1 comments:

Gabrielle Evelyn said...

Dear,

Best wishes to you and no worry,all will be better and tomorrow is always more beautiful!

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