Quick Recap

Something funny yet inspiring happened to me lately. My German teacher recommended me to some woman as a German tutor. I was totally flattered. Just for the record, I've only been learning German for 6 months. But she thought I was adequate to the job and referred to me as her best student for now. But it didn't pan out. Nevertheless, the whole thing's a nice little ego boost for me.

What also can make my day is reading comments or any other kinda of feedback about my blog. Just in case you don't know, Blogger is blocked in China mainland like forever. So to a large extent, readers of this blog are non-Chinese or Chinese who would like to read some English stuff and be capable of bypassing the GFW.

I'm not concerned too much about daily traffic driven here but I do pay quite a little attention to which of posts are most read. By far I know my most popular posts go to "I Don't Have A Dream", "Chinese people? Incomprehensible!" and "Sex and the Univercity". I'm not be swift to generalize anything I see. However, what I found out is gonna illustrate the point that foreigners are more interested in self-reflection - they're fond of reading unharmonized posts which criticize the CCP, Communism, centralization or even Chairman Mao BY CHINESE OURSELVES.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it's understandable. It's like "hunting for novelty". I assume that I'd feel the same way if I hear British people judge themselves. But the pathetic part of my case is that I'm entitled to speak up only outside the GFW, only beyond the sight of the "Internet harmonizers".

For one moment, those new notions dawn on me and I'm going for somewhat a westernized girl. But the next moment, I feel tied up by those old-fashioned values I grew up with. I can't totally let myself go. I wanna balance it all out. But from time to time, I got a bit overwhelmed by living these two lives.

Say one thing and do another - it's ironic that I actually grow into a typical Chinese. hehe, I'm in need of a bear hug.

(Below is a cartoon paraphrasing how Swedish media looks at Google's withdrawal from China.)

 （这张图片咱们中国人看看就好，外国人看不懂，呵呵。）

just another post

My German friend came back with her kids for a week. I was so delighted to get to see them after six months. I guess I like her a lot because she knew much about Chinese conventions and somehow could read my Chinese mind. I don't know many Germans but I suppose Germans are meant to be travellers because al my German friends told me they didn't miss their country that much and enjoyed their current lives. Well, things could change a lot just within six months - the kids became distant to me because they spoke only German while my German was absolutely rookie. I felt so terrible that I couldn't make myself understood to them.

She was nice to bring me a gift from Germany. Well, other than that, she was meaning to be a matchmaker and tried to hook me up with this guy who used to be her doctor. See? She was half-Chinese. She brought this up for several times but I was not interested.

(That beautiful gift as I mentioned. It was said to be a beer mug.^^)

lately

I've been learning German since this new semester.It's never easy to pick up another language.It makes it even more confusing when you have learnt some language that is similar to the one you're learning - German and English.

I don't think German is as difficult as I thought,but its similarity to English is really giving a headache.I don't mean my English is interfering in the German learning process,instead,it's playing as a double-edged sword at this point.On one hand,the German "chicken intestine" and the Indo-European grammar don't stick out like a sore thumb to me.On the other hand,the semblable alphabet compared to the English one,plus those same spelling as English but pronounced different German words are literally beating me up.

I once felt that my mind was hungry for a puzzle to solve,and now I really get a real feast's worth of conundrums!huh.Bring it on German.Allure me,entice me,surprise me,astound me.I've been more on the fence with anything.My ambition has been taking a long nap,but it's about to wake up and get riled up.

The teacher suggests that we should avoid using English or use it as less as possible while we learn.What a joker!It's never gonna happen so long as I still live with the Internet.Besides,I won't commit my English to learning German.

As for my English,I believe it's totally fossilized.It's so not going any better( or worse?).I don't get my hopes up to make it to an more advanced level,unless I could live in some English-speaking country for several years.

I keep having this fancy dream - is there anyone kind and generous enough to support me to go to Germany or some English-speaking country,say the UK?^^