one side effect of Spring Festival

22 is a bloody evil age since people around you, no matter how free and easy you used to think they were, started to ask about your relationship status. Sometimes parents or older relatives could be a little too helpful with it. They urged you to get involved in a marriage-oriented relationship. They kinda held the opinion that "you don't have to love him or her deeply because your passion could thrive in the long run (yea, right). You just gotta find someone good enough to have a family with". I just tried to be kind and firm but I guess I'd have a family-reunion phobia after one year or two if I stay single. Well, it's not gonna be any better even if I find my right one, because they would urge you to marry by then.

Chinese people generally tend to be family-oriented and very much appreciate our family bonds. But at every Spring Festival I got the feeling that I was brain-washed. It's no fair to blame mom or other relatives on giving me the brainwash but I have to admit that what they did and said affected my mind in some ways - I barely paid attention to the things in my routine life and I neglected school, my ambitions and even didn't bother being cynical. Instead, the definition and the concept of FAMILY became more graphic in my consciousness. Maybe that was what Spring Festival originally for.

The other day I invited my British friend over for dinner. It was not the first time for mom to meet my foreign friend, but she was still being very Chinese. When he said he hadn't really thought of marriage, mom started to enlighten him (in Chinese though). It seemed funny to me. Well, I believe foreigners like my friend would take marriage more sincerely and seriously than most Chinese people (although they get divorced more easily) because most Westerners must commit to the ones they love, but not the ones "well-matched in their social and economic status".

Love is risky

I had a movie night in yesterday and spent one hour or two on "He's Just Not That Into You".I heard about this movie before and I even found the books sold in my neighbourhood,but just had the mood to pop it.Being into sth./sb. is supposed to be a slang phrase in English but to people who don't know it(like my friends) may be misdled by literal interpretation.XD.

Checking out the cast of this movie,I felt it more like who's who.If I have to comment about it,I'd say that it is a standard chick flick,which isn't necessarily a negative feedback.I mean,to me,it tells us how the (American) modern relationships works and don't work out.Good thing that it isn't all about those juvenile dating games,otherwise I won't be writing this post.^^I was best impressed by the following line from this movies,

Mary: I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies.

hehe,I couldn't help laughing because it's so real.It is exhausting to hunt down every status your boyfriend makes on Facebook,Myspace or twitter.Over-analytics and over-generalisation are so commenly seemed in this kind of a fun loving date movie,and girls are not that sad or immature to have nothing better to do than to wait for calls.Plus,I have to point out that the (western) random pop cunture doesn't match my reality here,but it doesn't bother me sympathizing with the scenario or those phases we girls have ever been through.

I don't like the concept which patronizingly generalizise all guys to be jerks so they girls won't feel bad when get hurt.Maybe he's just not that into you.Girls are fond of reading signs which are mostly hypothetical.However,the worst feeling for girls is "I don't know",thus there's a stereotype,saying that girls are needy of settlement and commitment.Girls want promises because we don't want relationship to be stable,or even unchangeable.

But,I have a question here.What if he won't change into a jerk of any kind but he's commited to himself...What if he's very methodical,and even has planned up for his future ...I mean,what if it makes no difference to his life with or without you and you just happen to be his girlfriend.You still want that?

Yea,as my original point tells,love is risky.